all the news on the tours coming up is making my heart jump. it's also making me shiver a little, thinking that i might not be able to go if theres a show, with the lack of money.

I recently bought an acoustic guitar, and being very silly, I bought an ovation. If you dont play guitar, thats a very fancy guitar. Luckily I got an applause, which is like a lower-quality version of the thousand dollar guitar. Still, my new baby, which i named starla, set me back $450 bucks with all the other stuff like case, strings, all that.

also, the account I take my money out of is pretty much my only savings account. No, we dont have money for my college. When I was little we had 4 kids and one money source: a fisherman.
(not good)
anywho, I only have around $3000. this account is a money source for many things in my life.. all the expensive ones.

If i go to a concert, it won't be in sitka. so that makes concert tickets, airfare, and if its not where I have relatives, hotel. and probably all that stuff for my mother cause I'm only 13. And my entire family is going to Arizona for chrismas this year, so we dont have much spare money. and right now I'm in Anchorage, and we did lots of school shopping.. around $1500 dollars worth.

so with all that stuff to pay, I don't know if I can go to a concert anytime soon. Luckily I still have time to think about it, even if they come anywhere near me.


I'm hoping this "small clubs tour" means small towns too, because.. well.. that might have the possibility of Anchorage, Alaska. Oh god, I hope it does. I would scream if i saw a tour date for anchorage.
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Pumpkins, if you're going to go to Alaska, go the the sullivan arena in Anchorage. (its all-ages)
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If there was anything in anchorage I could go by myself and stay with my brother, and he could take me to the concert. Lots of money saved.

A few nights ago, I seriously had a dream that I was on this site and there was a concert date for Wasilla, Alaska (where i am at the moment, its outside of anchorage) for like.. July 11th or something like that. that's when I"m going to be here, and be with my brother, so that would be like perfect timing.

too bad its only in dreams.

I thought i was gunna cry when i woke up and realized it was a dream. I hate when that happens.

Sooo.. my point is... hmm I dont think i had a point. WELL. I'll make one. And it is... COME TO ANCHORAGE!!! actually I'd like it if it were like early next year, that would be best for me. March, april maybe. but i guess I have no say. It's up to the pumpkins and their people. so i'll say it again.

COME TO ANCHORAGE
COME TO ANCHORAGE
COME TO ANCHORAGE
COME TO ANCHORAGE
COME TO ANCHORAGE
COME TO ANCHORAGE
(and play the sullivan arena)
(next spring)
(PLEASE)

I love you.

wow. It is.. beautiful. I was thinkin about maybe saving for one... but they're over a thousand dollars so, I doubt thats going to happen anytime soon. I have to save for, you know, college and that crap.

maybe someday I could have my own signature stratocaster..

i am back again. so whats up. well my friends are still being butts but they have switched on me. I already knew sage was an idiot and ive gotten used to it and stopped trying. now kirsten has turned on me and she screamed at me. yeah boo hoo whatever for like an hour, and now i'm just pissed. luckily i dont have to talk to her over the summer if i dont wanna so thats relieving, and i only have 3 weeks to go.

in other news. my song is coming along well. ive been revising and adding on to it every once in awhile. i have 2 verses, prechorus and chorus done. its called Lime Green. basically just about how all the drama shit is really so simple underneath it all and how i'm trying to figure out the ways I cause problems. good to know. I still have to buy a thingy to record with and actually do it. probably wont happen til around july haha. but look forward to it!

sooo thats about it. write me my dear pumpkin fans. I love getting letters from anyone at all. though I have no fans of my own lol

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

well I'm home sick right now. basically i feel like shit. so i decided to update all my pumpkin fans on what's up in my life.

soooo you know how all teens have their awkward phases when they find out who they are.... well I had that last year and now i'm pretty sure of myself. however my friends... have not. lately my friend sage has been doing some idiotic things, as well as the rest of them, except Kirsten. her and I are best friends at least now.

for all the girls out there.. you know its hard being a 13 year old girl. usually i'm okay for now. but for awhile I thought i was going insane. I found out that kirsten was feeling the same way. so we stick together. sage has been acting weird to me and lindsey, same to kirsten. so her and i are trying to figure out how to help sage not be so mean while she's having an awkward time.

I had a horrible day yesterday. god. I dont even want to talk about it. private, anyways. girl stuff

ahh im too lazy to type much right now.


OH yes!!! I have a few more riffs on guitar. one is actually becoming something. the problem is that i always forget my riffs. I'll get there though. I've been playing 2 years already, but i'm only 13!

well thanks for reading. if you did. later sp fans

is INCREDIBLY hard for me.

I came up with a few guitar riffs last night while trying to figure out.. well, anything new. while doing that attempted writing lyrics... I got one line... "nothing really ever changes" but this is probably because i'm not doing it the right way for my brain... i'm an ok poet when we have to write at school, it's alright when i write at home, but words aren't really my thing. but i'll have to figure out a way to do it.

Have any of you seen Music and Lyrics? it's about this musician guy who writes AMAZING music but can't do the lyrics, and his new maid is really good at lyrics but bad at music. I think i'm the dude. but i'm not quite as bad at it as him. hahhaha...

I think as a start i'm going to write a retarded song about cupcakes. my friends suggested it to me because my friend Kirsten (who would also like to be a songwriter) wrote this strange hippie song that makes NO sense but is hilarious... I don't remember the words well, but some of the lines are these...

"rainbow flowers, i love you, dearly"
and..
"flamingoes are flying, turtles are screaming"

she told me it's about war. apperently flamingoes are torpedoes.

anyway, I was chanting this thing about cupcakes in Home Ec, something like this...

"cupcakes are yummy, I LOVE CUPCAKES!!! how do you, make a cupcake? you find a cake, or make a cake, then how do you do it? CUP THAT CAKE! to make a cupcake you put a CAKE in a CUP and then you have a CUPCAKE!!! I LOVE CUPCAKES!!!! I LOVE CUPCAKES!!!" etc...

Kirsten told me to make a song about it. So i've been working on that. I had a guitar riff, but I don't know how to arrange the lyrics.

i've also been working with dearest friend Kirsten on guitar... when she first started I taught her the basics so she plays a little like me. although i've been playing a year longer. we were practicing her song, RainbowFlowers, and i played bass while she played guitar... good practice for playing with other people. Sage played keyboard drums... not very well.. she's not very musical.

lets seeeeeeeee. I've been listening to the Aeroplane constantly lately. I got it for christmas.. I think i said that. well yeah i'm excited about that. I also got this interview thing with billy but it wasn't that interesting... it was talking about that song he did for a movie a long time ago, nothing important (it wasn't eye or the end is the beginning, somethin else) aaand the That's the Way single (my fav song) and also lots of stripes and all that.

I need a new amp.

My amp sucks butt. It makes a buzzing sound for like 5-10 minutes whenever i turn it on, and I have to kick it to make it stop. plus its tiny, and kinda crappy in the first place. but it's lasted me almost 2 years, with me beating the sh*t out of it, so that's good.

I made SP-based art in my art class, that i recently got back. it's the SP heart in florescent blue, green, pink, orange and yellow...something else too but i forgot.

i've been writing too long, i must be off. after all I haven't even gotten on myspace yet.

woot woot!!! I just got it on Itunes... Yeah, i know, some of you probably hate itunes, corporate crap and that, but, I just want the music. I haven't heard it yet because my internet is oh-so-slow, but I can't wait to hear it!!!! and actually, here in alaska its not January 2 yet, but i just get to cheat the system

(I was gunna do that with Zeitgeist too lol)

later

I'm sure none of you noticed, but I was not online for almost a WEEK!!! that's quite something!! and no, this was not willpower (I wish I could say it was) it was because my internet was out. and when you live in a small town in Alaska, and there's only one internet company in town, they don't really care WHEN it gets fixed. so it took them a week. at least it got done at all. (that could've happened too)

anywho.... I really need to play guitar, it's making me sad. My mom was in Arizona for a week and my dad's a fisherman, so he was on a fishing trip, at the same time, so I had to stay at a friend's house. It was pretty crazy.

now I feel really bad for when I blow up on my mom or sister. since I was there for 5 days, the first day they were doing the whole "we're a perfect family" act everyone does when you have a guest. but since i'm so close with them, after that they gave up on it, and I saw a side of all of them i've never seen... and it was WEIRD. I was at my best friend Sage's house, of course, and I saw her do things I would never imagine. and what was worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) was I realized I do those things too... On Saturday she got mad and started being really mean to her mom, and honestly I was taking her mom (deb)'s side.

I always saw them as a peaceful family - maybe it was just a good act. but another thing i know now... sage is HORRIBLE before she eats breakfast... i'm serious, it scared the hell out of me! so by Sunday, as soon as we woke up I said "hey, how about breakfast?"

mmm... lemme think.... OOOH OOH!!! My birthday is Saturday, December 15!!!! i am SOOO excited!!! and.. ehem... I shouldn't say this... I'm going to be 13. so this whole time it's said i'm 13 up there, i've only been 12... but webmasters, please don't kick me off! IT'S ONLY 5 MORE DAYS TIL I'M LEGAL!!!!

k, later pumpkinheads...

and happy winter

(unless you're in the southern hemisphere having summer, and therefore damn you )

I just read all the latest Pumpkin blogs.... all their exciting tales (like that patriotic Billy getting searched at the airport... they make me feel boring. But they are rockstars, they have all the fun...

my young life is... good. right now I'm trying to get my group of friends together for a slumber party (don't laugh at me, we don't play truth or dare.... we play truth or truth hahahaha) and I've called kirsten 4 times, susie twice, and sage once.. in about 15 minutes. AHHHH. I guess i'm prety happy-go-lucky right now, nothing too awesome has happened lately but nothing horrible either. blah blah blah.


as far as guitar... I know most of the songs in my Pumpkins book... i'm working on Tonite Tonite, Zero and Ava Adore at this moment, and also "holiday" by Green Day. not to be bragging but i'm getting good! woot woot!

well sorry my blog's so short, I have to go. later pumpkinheads.

The first one is... ok, as you know, i'm about 13, I was born in December '94. I was watching my pumpkins dvd's (you say i'm crazy? right on) and i saw a performance of Muzzle from early '97... so that makes me what, 2? I watched the whole thing and at the end a tall redheaded man walked out! I went "oh my god it's conan!!!" for some reason I always thought this was a letterman performance, but it was early Late Night With Conan O'Brien! I've always talked about how wonderful it would be to have the Pumpkins on Conan... because i love the pumpkins, and i love conan.. duh. There it was, right in front of me!!! honestly it would've been wayyy cooler if Billy and Conan talked... 2 out of 3 of my favorite 6'4" guys... (the third is my sister's boyfriend matt.. he'd be sad if i didn't mention him ) So isn't that awesome? mayyybeee next tour SP can do SNL and Conan..... PLEEEASE!!

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My next subject. Ok, so my mother and my older brother both work at the town pharmacy, and they have pharmacy students in there constantly. Apparently to graduate as a pharmacist, you have to do rotations in different pharmacies around the country, and we're in alaska so alot of people want to come here.

anyways, this guy came lately and he's from Chicago. my mother was telling me this and i said "yeah.. chicago... woo..." and then she said "well, he said he's met billy before" and my jaw dropped... "WHAT?!?!?!" hahaha... my mom kept telling the story, that "he was in a bar, and his friend spotted billy from across this bar, so she went and bought an armload of beer trying to get him to sit down and talk and get drunk with them, but when she asked he said 'well.. i don't drink.' but he talked to them anyways and probably was thinking 'what a couple of idiots'" but I doubt that.. i'm sure lots of people have asked billy to get drunk with them

isn't that jealousy-worthy though! I mean holy crap! if only I were over 21, and lived in chicago... this guy also said that he knows a few places billy likes to hang out when they're working on albums in Chicago.

lucky Chicagoans.

I mean, i don't want to sound like a stalker, but WHOAH! that's awesome! I was just amazed to be in the same BUILDING as billy, that's phenomenal for this alaska girl... but hanging out with him? aaahhhh!!!!

the guy also said that billy is tall, lanky and kind of shy and silly in real life... like we didn't know that already... but that's not a bad thing at all! it's pretty cute! it does feel weird for me, the dreaming 13 year old, saying Billy, the genius 40 year old rockstar...

this is a stupid reason to write a blog, but oh well.

Apparently someone VERY immature really hates me on here, so they went to all my pictures of the Pumpkins show and gave them 1's... what the hell? I mean, not that it matters, but that sure is dumb...

I mean, the first one was kind of a crappy picture anyway, it was all blurred but it still looked pretty sweet. I gave it a 5 to raise it up a little bit haha. But then the other one was [bad word removed]ing awesome (the one of Billy's guitar) and it had a 1 too, and only one vote too! lol, I'm the 12 year old around here, COME ON PEOPLE! I'm supposed to be the immature one! gosh.

It sure sucks that I have to be the mature one all the time, even though I'm the youngest. My own mother is less mature than me. Byotch. I said that jokingly but it's pretty true.

well I should stop talking now. So ta-ta!

loves, innosense

PS vote my pictures up!