[Jean-Christophe]

Hello,

As you will read, English is not my primary language sorry...

Anyway, I have two tickets for the Belgian show and I will invite my future ex-wife.
She left me a few moth ago. It was a very difficult time and now, I try to fix the situation.
I believe I didn' diserve to be dumped like that. I mean, I'm not alcoholic, I didn't punch her, never, I love her and our two wonderful kids. I didn't cheat on her.

It will be my last chance I think.

She agreed to have an evening with me and I bought two tickets as I know she like the band a lot. I will try to make a perfect evening.
I will borow a luxury Audi from a friend to drive her to the show. Before that, we will have a good diner somwhere. I hope it could be a good recovering time for us.

So, here is my point.

You know, some times, there is a public wedding proposal. I would like to have a "non divorce proposal" as the divorce is not done yet, it is still time.

Do you think the band can do something for us?

You know, I'm 32, she is 30, we spend 11 years together. We have 2 beautifull boys (4 and 6 years), and I would like to give them the oportunity to have a unique familly. Not having dad's house and mum's appartment would be so nice for our kids.

Maybe I'm totally wrong about that. Maybe it's a bad idea...
I would like to try anything I can.

Thanks for reading until here :-)

Have a nice evening,

JC

[frosty]

the band doesn't come here very often, so they may not read it. but, i hope everything goes really well. don't try to rush anything or try to fix everything in one night. take things slow so that you two can work back to the closeness you had. good luck! :)/>

[Hyrrow]

Why did she leave you? I'm willing to comment, but it's kind of important to know what happened before...
Did you guys just grow apart, did you fight all the time, is there someone else, did you disappoint her, were you unwilling to change before, are you now, and so on....

[Jean-Christophe]

frosty, on 13 October 2011 - 06:15 PM, said:

the band doesn't come here very often, so they may not read it. but, i hope everything goes really well. don't try to rush anything or try to fix everything in one night. take things slow so that you two can work back to the closeness you had. good luck! :)/>

Hi Frosty,
Thank you for your support. :-)
Is there any way to contact the band? I know my question looks like a message in a bottle, but what can I loose?

I will take it easy. We both ran some very hard times and I'm afraid she can build something else with someone else. But I won't rush anything. I will listen to what she said (if she said something...).

Hyrrow, on 13 October 2011 - 09:10 PM, said:

Why did she leave you? I'm willing to comment, but it's kind of important to know what happened before...
Did you guys just grow apart, did you fight all the time, is there someone else, did you disappoint her, were you unwilling to change before, are you now, and so on....

Hi Hyrrow,
To be more clear, she cheated on me for 6 month. I discovered it without looking to it (I was not suspicious at all). It was on 19/08/2010.
Since then, she stopped her other relation and we tried to rebuild our couple. It was her choice. She had the opportunity to leave me at the moment.
The situation was worth and worth as the time went on. (I don't know if the is a right English sentence...)
On April the 2nd, she said she left me and went in an apartment. I was devastated.

Of course, since that, she is back with her lover.

You will say it doesn't explain why she cheated on me... I guess I became a boring husband. I was a bit depressive and I didn't bring her what she needed to be happy. She found it with another man.
I'm cured now. My point of view on the life is totally different from what it was a few month ago and I would like to show her that I can make her happy again now.

I'm still so much in love with her. I would like to try anything I can to bring her back, but I need to take it easy and let the things go on. Not an easy maneuver :-)

[calla lily]

Hyrrow, on 13 October 2011 - 09:10 PM, said:

Why did she leave you? I'm willing to comment, but it's kind of important to know what happened before...
Did you guys just grow apart, did you fight all the time, is there someone else, did you disappoint her, were you unwilling to change before, are you now, and so on....

why would you think it was his fault? ladies can be dogs too

[Jean-Christophe]

calla lily, on 14 October 2011 - 02:39 AM, said:

why would you think it was his fault? ladies can be dogs too

Indeed, they can :-)

This is not the point of this discussion. I don't cry on my situation. :-)

[Martine Castonguay]

I speak french too (I assume it's your first language) Jean-Christophe. : )

See (speak) you later.

[Jean-Christophe]

Bonjour Matine,

Oui le Français est ma langue maternelle. Ce qui ne signie pas que je le parle et l'écrive beaucoup mieux :-)

[Translation, sorry]
Hello Martine,

Yes, French is my mother tongue? That doesn't mean I speak or write it a lot better :-)

[Hyrrow]

calla lily, on 14 October 2011 - 02:39 AM, said:

why would you think it was his fault? ladies can be dogs too

I didn't say it was his fault. I was asking information.

[frosty]

i'm not sure how to get in touch with the band. billy has a twitter account: http://twitter.com/#!/Billy

fans sometimes ask him questions there.

i guess you could tell her all the things you told us about being in a different place now & being able to give her the things she wanted from you. then she'll have to decide if that's what she wants. sorry for the hard times you've been through.

[Jean-Christophe]

Thanks for the Twitter info. I'm not Twitter user, maybe it's time to start...

I did tell her what I told you. She don't believe me, but she don't blame me for what I am (was). I understand such a change is hard to follow because the changes where so slow and incidious in the other way.

If someone reading this is in tuch with the band, it should be very nice if you can put the band's attention on my post :-)

Best regards from Belgium,

You guys and girls are very nice to discuss with :-)

[Hyrrow]

Jean-Christophe, on 13 October 2011 - 10:17 PM, said:

Hi Hyrrow,
To be more clear, she cheated on me for 6 month. I discovered it without looking to it (I was not suspicious at all). It was on 19/08/2010.
Since then, she stopped her other relation and we tried to rebuild our couple. It was her choice. She had the opportunity to leave me at the moment.
The situation was worth and worth as the time went on. (I don't know if the is a right English sentence...)
On April the 2nd, she said she left me and went in an apartment. I was devastated.

Of course, since that, she is back with her lover.

You will say it doesn't explain why she cheated on me... I guess I became a boring husband. I was a bit depressive and I didn't bring her what she needed to be happy. She found it with another man.
I'm cured now. My point of view on the life is totally different from what it was a few month ago and I would like to show her that I can make her happy again now.

I'm still so much in love with her. I would like to try anything I can to bring her back, but I need to take it easy and let the things go on. Not an easy maneuver :-)

Wow, thanks for being so open about your personal things, I know it's not easy.

Most importantly, focus on the positive, not the negative.
Seriously, be positive!
Don't go into the situation all desperate, that makes you unattractive. Nobody wants a loser. Don't try to tear that other guy down either, then she'll feel the need to defend him. Try not to whine about the other guy at all.
Instead, forgive her in advance for what she's done. If you can't forgive her, you can't go forward! No conditions, or trying to get an apology, forgive her for what she did, forgive yourself even, before that day! Be positive.
What did she love about you? Why did she fall for you?
Did you do special things for her? Were you good for her in the marriage?
Don't focus on telling her how good you're doing or how successful you are in anything. SHOW her. Be the best you you can be. Be happy. Those things are attractive.
I would almost say... When you go to dinner, try to approach her as if it's your first date with someone new. Catch that exciting feeling, words are less relevant. Be charming as if it's your nature. :lick:/>
Don't tell her you want her back when you sit down at the table, tell her how gorgeous she looks. Don't ask her about the other guy, pretend he doesn't exist. Instead ask or tell her about the kids, but even the kids I wouldn't focus on. Ask her if she remembers your first date or something. Tell her what made you fall in love with her originally. Tell her she's still an amazing person. If she asks you how you're doing, do admit you were depressed or whatever, but don't dwell on it, focus on how great you're doing now.
After dinner some time you could tell her how she's the only thing missing in your life, and what a great thing you let slip through your fingers. IF she brings up the cheating, tell her it hurt you but you've forgiven her, cause she's the best thing in your life and you love her unconditionally. Tell her she's your best friend and you do miss her. But never whine, never be negative, always stay positive.

If it's at a SP concert and she loves the band so much, I'd definitely ask Billy Corgan to read something from the stage for her. Here's two Foo Fighters videos that may help inspire you. How amazing would it be to get her attention that way. However, IF she just wants to be friends, don't embarrass her in front of people. Then be friends.




Let me know what you think, or if there's more info that's important.
I don't claim to be all knowing, just trying to help you.

Also, trust in God, ask your guardian angel for support, seriously.

Considering the band, twitter is indeed a good idea. But I'd also write an open letter here, it seems they do read the boards.

And yes, Frosty is cool! :awklove:/>

[Jean-Christophe]

Thank you for your support. :-)

All your advise are well noted! I will try to write a letter to her.
I hope someone of the band will catch it.

I go back to the diner preparation for my kids. I'll be back!

Thanks again!

[Hyrrow]

Jean-Christophe, on 14 October 2011 - 08:10 AM, said:

Thank you for your support. :-)

All your advise are well noted! I will try to write a letter to her.
I hope someone of the band will catch it.

I go back to the diner preparation for my kids. I'll be back!

Thanks again!

Hey, I don't claim to know everything, I'm just putting in my two cents.

[frosty]

Hyrrow, on 14 October 2011 - 06:58 AM, said:

And yes, Frosty is cool! :awklove:/>

thank ya. :)/>

[ItsSoPringles]

man dave grohl is seriously such a great dude, anyone who does that for 1 person out of a crowd of thousands really is a kind guy

[Jean-Christophe]

I'm still planning my evening :-)
I hope everything will be fine! Anyway, I'll come back to you after the show.

[Jean-Christophe]

As much as I think of it, I can't say if all this is a good idea...
I don't risk anthing I guess.

By the way, I created a Twitter account but I can't send Billy a private message (that sounds normal) and I don't want to flood his Twitter with personnal stuff :-/
Do you guys hav any way of contact someone of the band and point there attention to my topic?

thanks a lot,

JC

[Hyrrow]

Jean-Christophe, on 18 October 2011 - 12:02 PM, said:

As much as I think of it, I can't say if all this is a good idea...
I don't risk anthing I guess.

By the way, I created a Twitter account but I can't send Billy a private message (that sounds normal) and I don't want to flood his Twitter with personnal stuff :-/
Do you guys hav any way of contact someone of the band and point there attention to my topic?

thanks a lot,

JC

I think I told you before you can write an open letter on the forum here. There's a special section for it.
Another thing I'd try is talk to the moderators and get it through that way.

[Jean-Christophe]

Indeed, you told me :-) I will do that.
Thanks

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i think it's a bad idea to do any public proposals. it can be really embarrassing, and ruin everything.
maybe you can ask the band if they want to dedicate a song to her, or to the both of you. but even that can have the wrong effect and seem creepy.

[Jean-Christophe]

To be honest, I din't image something involving our/her participation. Just a little message about "It should be nice if you give him a chance to prove the way he loves you."

I just realized I never mention her name. Her name is Gaëlle. Mine is Jean-Christophe as you imagine. Our mother tongue is French but we both speak English.

[Hyrrow]

Any reaction from the band/admins yet?

[Jean-Christophe]

Hello,

Nothing until now.
I have not much hope about this. I realize I send a message in a bottle. There are only a few chance the message will reach it's goal but I have nothing to lose trying this :-)

My sentimental saga goes on. I had a discussion with her this week. The result is "She see what I do and the changes made, but she is in love with the other guy". As I don't plan to hire a killer, I will have to wait this passionnate love time ends.

Or maybe, a very special event could push th things the right way.

[CoolAsIceCream]

Jean-Christophe, on 21 October 2011 - 02:33 AM, said:

To be honest, I din't image something involving our/her participation. Just a little message about "It should be nice if you give him a chance to prove the way he loves you."

why would they vouch for you? they don't even know you.

also, the more i read about your situation, the more apparent it becomes this is over. she's not coming back. maybe you should try to accept that.
i know this isn't nice to hear, but someone's got to tell you.

and it's not true that you've got nothing to lose here. my advice would be to try and have a nice evening together, without any crazy attempts to win her back. that can only make things worse.

[Jean-Christophe]

CoolAsIceCream, on 26 October 2011 - 03:30 AM, said:

why would they vouch for you? they don't even know you.

Because they are nice people?

CoolAsIceCream, on 26 October 2011 - 03:30 AM, said:

also, the more i read about your situation, the more apparent it becomes this is over. she's not coming back. maybe you should try to accept that.
i know this isn't nice to hear, but someone's got to tell you.

You are not the first to say that to me, and I know it very well. I just don't want to accept that, but I'm not that stupid to ignore the evidence.

CoolAsIceCream, on 26 October 2011 - 03:30 AM, said:

and it's not true that you've got nothing to lose here. my advice would be to try and have a nice evening together, without any crazy attempts to win her back. that can only make things worse.

How could it be worse? She is gone. She is making a new life with someone else. She can't dump me a second time wothout comming back first :-)

I know this sounds stupid. But I would like to try. I won't wake up in a few weeks and ask myself "If I had try, maybe...".

[CoolAsIceCream]

right now you're still good enough together that she agrees to go out with you for an evening.
you could make this situation worse by pulling over the top last-chance bullshit.
i really, really doubt she will suddenly change her mind because billy tells her to give you another chance. (and i really doubt you'll be able to convince him to do this in the first place, if you ever got through to him.)
anyway, you know it sounds stupid. that's something. you're not delusional.

despite the wackiness of your plan, i still wish you the best, whatever happens.

[Jean-Christophe]

Thank you for your wiches :-)

I will come back and tell you how it went.

[CoolAsIceCream]

there's a small chance i'll be there. :o/>

[Jean-Christophe]

There is a smallest chance you recognize me in the crowd :-)

To explain my initial wishe, my goal is not to ashamed her in the middle of a big crowd. I just would like to let her know I realy love her and she is very important to me.

[Hyrrow]

I wish you the best.
Make sure you got a friend you can call if things don't turn out the way you hope. :)/>
But I hope for the best!

[Jean-Christophe]

i Hyrrow,

I was shure I answered your question...
Anyway...

Yes, I have someone I can call, but I'm shur it won't be necessary. She won't change her mind within one evening. I don't dream about that. Wy goal is to show her she is still in my mind and let the time do it's job...

Thanks for your support :-)

[Martine Castonguay]

Have a good evening Jean Christophe. And all you wish be realized. :mwah:/>

[Jean-Christophe]

Thanks a lot!

It starts good, the weather is not too bad, the car is ready, the lunch is nearly ready too.
I'll pickup my "date" in about an hour and go to Bruxelles.

[Jean-Christophe]

Well.
I'm alive for now. That was a difficult evening for me.

[Sophie]

Kind of predictable but still you have my support during this hard time.
Sleep on it and let us know how you feel in the next few days.

On te souhaite plein de courage.

[Jean-Christophe]

Merci Sophie

I'll do that. For now I'm not about to sleep at all (but I should).

[frosty]

how did it go? did she seem happy about the date?

[Hyrrow]

frosty, on 07 November 2011 - 04:50 PM, said:

how did it go? did she seem happy about the date?

Yes, how did things go?

[killer_in_me]

Oh God... I just read all this. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling but i did recently have my fiancee leave me for no reason other than one day she woke up and told herself I'm not the man of her dreams. That was horrible, so your pain must be amplified 100 times more.

Je parle français aussi J-C, malgré le fait que je sois anglais. Ma fiancée était francaise. Je te souhaite très bon courage pour ta situation. Essaie de rester un bon papa pour tes enfants, ils ont besoin de toi aussi, encore plus maintenant.

Doesn't look like hes been back since. I hope he's ok...