I'm not certain that my memory is completely reliable... But I remember being 6 years old, watching SNL on Halloween night 1989 and seeing the Pumpkins for the first time. Sitting in the rather dirty (That's dirty, not dirt--Mississippians do have linoleum) floor, still half wearing my costume and sorting through the night's haul in the warmth of an old wood heater. I know a lot of us feel this way, but the music of the Pumpkins has been a soundtrack to my life--I grew up with them: a child learning the world with Gish; a teen through SD, PI, and MCIS; knew heartbreak through Adore; and old enough to know better but too young to care during Machina I and II. I have grown much since 1989, and moved up from the rather dirty floor (which should be enough description of my childhood--I don't want to go any deeper) to have my own family now. Each song still has a special meaning to me, a different chapter of my life summed up in a few minutes of thunder and silence. The Pumpkins have pulled me through some of my deepest depressions, and made some of the greatest times greater. Billy Corgan has always been my hero, and my dream is to one day meet him... if only for a moment... and to tell him how much his songs have meant to me. Unfortunately I've never been able to see them live... My only chance was Asheville, at the Orange Peel and I wasn't fast enough.... Hopefully another opportunity will present itself, if not--I still have the music at least.

I realize now after reading this again, that I make Mississippi and probably myself sound as though we're 50 years behind every other state. We're actually only about 25, but that's only the rural areas. Hopefully if you've made it this far in reading, you've realized that, at least, some Mississippians have an education.

Just felt the need to defend myself... from myself... Thanks for reading.