>Summary of Life


>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
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>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
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>2) When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
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>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person
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>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
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>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
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>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
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>7) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
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>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
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>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
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>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
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>GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
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>1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
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>2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
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>3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
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>4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
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>5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
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>6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
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>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
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>1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
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>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
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>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
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>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
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>5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
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>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
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>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
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>1 -- You believe in Santa Claus.
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>2 -- You don't believe in Santa Claus.
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>3 -- You are Santa Claus.
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>4 -- You look like Santa Claus.
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>SUCCESS:
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>At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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>At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
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>At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
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>At age 35 success is . . having money.
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>At age 50 success is .. . . having money.
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>At age 70 success is . .. having a driver license.
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>At age 75 success is . . having friends.
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>At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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>Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
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>Try to forget the troubles that pass your way;
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>BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
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>Have a wonderful day with many smiles
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>Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today
>is a gift....that's why it's called "THE PRESENT"!