FABINESS'S PROFILE
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From: San José,

Age: 29

Comments made: 21
Reviews written: 1
Member since: April 28, 2008
 
 
Blog Entries For Fabiness

Who am i?
Monday, April 28, 2008 - 8:56 pm - Fabiness
Iīm the Director of my own online business, Elflandīs Workshop. ( google it )

Artist, Photographer, Nature lover, and i love music almost more than anything in the world. I have a daughter named Luna and i love her even more than music.

I spend my days working my ass off behind the computerīs screen, writing, drawing and playing bass guitar, dreaming that one day i will play in a band. I already turned 29 but i guess i still got a chance or two.

Iīm stuck in Costa Rica, iīm glad we have no army here, we are peaceful people but itīs a bit too hard for artists down here so i get a bit disappointed sometimes and tired...and leaves me wishing for something better.


I enjoy books and poetry but specially music, i live with 8 cats i love and take care of, iīm basically normal.... nah...... I īm a dreamer.

My basic philosophy of life here, it changes here and there constantly, but at the end this sums it all up. We will see in ten or 20 years: BEWARE itīs a loooooooooong text.

Destiny or not destiny, the idea makes me feel i am in the right place in the right moment no matter if i'm in a very bad situation. but i do believe i can decide what to do next. I know i have to get through life experiences, it's supposed to happen because i chose this before i was born, i also feel i can change my own destiny if i really want to and that is ok too, because no matter how many mistakes or how far away i get form the original purpose and i suffer for it, i know i will always learn something that will help my soul evolve and become more compassionate and not be so materially attached and i will also add a stamp into someone elseīs soul, even if itīs just for a split second.

I see life as a progress where we must solve things, issues, problems, situations, learn and compare, experiment, let go and come back again from where we came, we are one, not separate and the best way to know it all is to be many beings experimenting and walking all the paths at the same time and coming back with all the information of good and evil, sorrow and happiness, anguish and pure joy, love and hate, but i also think the nature of our pure being is good, is light and sound and ecstasy, the moment we see it all, from all the points of view, we go back and remain being humble and pure. How do you know you are happy if you have always being happy? So i think we come here to learn, we chose who, when and where and with who, we do our things, it's all planned like a play, we pretend being something or someone and while we are acting we tend to forget who we really are because we get really deep in our roles, but then, you hear some claps and gasps and laughs and then you realize it was all in your head, you are not that character, you were feeling all of it, but you are not that character, is only a play....we become better and better at this acting, we switch easily every life we choose, until we are so skilled that we don't need to make an effort anymore to be all the characters you want, you understand them all, you can be all of them just by wishing it, you are everyone and everyone is you, we are ONE.

So destiny, it makes all seem controlled, and i believe that in a way, a very cosmic way it is all controlled somehow, with some rules or alternative doors or paths, so we can always choose between certain boundaries and i feel we know what we need. See it like this, a vast ocean, you pick up a drop and put it in a jar, is the drop just a drop because it was separated from the bigger source? or is it still the ocean?

I donīt feel separated at all. But i can tell you that sometimes i feel the world is so ridiculously cruel i cannot take it any more, but i just breathe in and out and contemplate the whole and i think itīs beautiful somehow. Beauty, love, compassion, patience.... not so easy to comprehend purely, but iīm trying to. Life is so short and so much to think about, see, hear, feel, change, fix, destroy.

I hope someone feels connected with me somewhere in this little bubble floating in space before it burst, i have it all but yet feel lonely but i know iīm not, i just wish with a very human-like sense of desire and wanting that someday all the love and care i have to share finds the one who will appreciate it and treasure it forever. Perhaps iīm asking too much when i know iīm surrounded by people who love me, itīs just thereīs something odd about it all, thereīs something missing and i cannot seem to find it just yet, thereīs an emptiness in my heart and i just donīt know quite sure what this is.

Hmmmmm what else, letīs see....

Favorite Books:

The King of Elflandīs Daughter, Lord of the Rings, Dragon World, Dragonlance Chronicles, My life with the Lama, The Little Prince, The Vampire Chronicles, John Livingston Seagull, Illusions.History Books and encyclopedias.
i liked the Secret for more reasons i thought. The Bible as the best fictional book with the best moral lesson, no offense here please.

Writers:

Poe, Lovecraft, Richard Bach, Neil Gaiman, Anne Rice, Tolkien, Napoleon Hill, 'Namo Ching Hai Wu Shang Shih.


Movies: The Fountain, Dark Crystal, Legend, Labyrinth, LOTR, Trainspotting, Requiem for a Dream, PI, Amelie, Conan, some old School Anime. The City of Lost Children, I love Horror movies, but horror movies with some class please, pure gore like SAW is out of my list.

Music: ah well.....iīm a very open person in this field.

Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Siouxie and the Banshees, Radiohead, Portishead, Cocteau Twins, Bauhaus, Muse, Nine Inch Nails, The Who, Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, Bjork, Sigur Ros, P.J Harvey, David Bowie, Ministry, Peter Gabriel, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Jethro Tull, Led Zeppelin, Doors, Police, Alan Parsonīs Project, YES, U2, Moody Blues, Coldplay, Richard Ashcroft, Bob Dylan, Black Sabbat, Orbital, BT, Carmen Rizzio, VAS, Niyaz, Dead Can Dance, Omnia, Faun, Enya, Beethoven, Mozart, and random 80īs pop music, i liked Heart a lot. BARRACUDA!

I do play Videogames yes. Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and old school games like Metroid, Castlevania, Gradius, Lords of Thunder, Metal Gear, Ice Wind Dale, Baldurs Gate, Star Fox, CONTRA! Bwuahaha and fighting games....but itīs been a while since i played something i like.

Religion: i still donīt know i donīt really believe in religions at all but iīm a very spiritual person. I take Yoga seriously, meditation but i also go around making weird stuff with flowers and bones and sticks or hug trees or sometimes i pray to Mary, and think about pretty things and wish everyone the best, i respect peopleīs choices but i do not support violence in any form unless you get violent with Rock and Roll YEAH!

No Drugs for me, i donīt drink, used to smoke pot to relax, it was kinda fun, but that is in the past. Music is my drug. I donīt eat cadavers of animals, but sometimes i give it a bite just for the taste but get sick most of the times.

I simply looooooooove food, I love food! yum!

About my past:

A few relationships, a couple very serious.
I married my best friend. I broke a couple of hearts and mine was broken since i have memory. Only girl in a band of kids, cousins, brothers and i was the youngest so i had to fight for a place, kick, bite, scream, crawl, claw, run, hide. I used to play with cars, wooden swords, climbed trees, had a few barbie dolls i later hated for being so skinny and ride my bicycle until someone stole it. and i loved to spend the vacations swimming in the little swimming pool my parents made, from 7 am to 6 pm nonstop. Used to go watch my mom fly with a hang glider and watch my dad play bass and saxophone and get sad because he had a few bands and then got frustrated when he had to stop the music and get a job. Then they had a terrible divorce and my dad tormented us until i was about 18-19 years old. Now he is cool and old. Mom is an artist.

yes iīm VERY into fantasy, iīm a sensible person. i love rain and sad songs and i made some calculations and i think iīve listened to Billy Corganīs To Love Somebody more than a thousand times this month. Iīm obssssesseddddddddd with music.

Tah Daaaaah!

this was a pre 30īs crisis or something....

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Comments For Fabiness

hey ya...
Friday, July 11, 2008 - 3:13 pm - sany_2812
I think you're a very intresting person

and I could find some similarities between us...like our Love to LOTR or food, the wonderful rain..
=)
greetz and kiss
sany

well it's always nice to meet new people
Tuesday, July 8, 2008 - 9:16 pm - anamewashere
your take on destiny is interesting... i'm not exactly a fan of the term. in fact, i dismiss the whole concept 'cause i'm not so good with hoping and relying, something that destiny takes root at some extent. but that's just me.

hope you're doing great

:)
Saturday, July 5, 2008 - 8:35 pm - last_rose_of_summer
nice to meet you too! i love fantasy books too and i love your drawings. and i see that you said you have 8 cats, i have 4. they are my babies!

well, have a great night!



hey
Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 8:21 pm - last_rose_of_summer
your artwork is beautiful!



Yo!
Friday, June 27, 2008 - 7:22 am - eyeamone
You sound like a very cool woman. Nice to know more about you and keep rockin!

hey
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 - 4:48 am - anamewashere
thanks for the add.

hope you're doing great

WOW!!!
Monday, May 19, 2008 - 9:27 am - BlackSwan
you are very talented!!! Your art and photography is AMAZING!!! I look forward to seeing more of it...

My daughter is 15, and wants to do animation...she usually draws very cartoon like characters...but has recently started to draw fairies and dragons...I can't wait to show her your website, she will love it!!!

Have a great one...



I just read
Monday, May 19, 2008 - 9:18 am - BlackSwan
your blog....OMG....WE HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH IN COMMON!!! I thought you were me for a second....

We'll get along just fine

I am going to google your website, it sounds like something i'd like to visit...



Hi
Monday, May 19, 2008 - 9:09 am - BlackSwan
how are you??? It is VERY hot right now where i live....how about where you live???

Yes, i love Faeries I collect them...I think they are BEAUTIFUL! I also love flowers, they kind of go hand in hand...

I wish you a WONDERFUL day!

much love
me



Hi
Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 8:51 am - BlackSwan
New friend...

hope we can talk soon...

have a GREAT day!

much love
me



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WHY I'M A FAN
I will try to explain why iīm a fan so here it goes:

I started to play bass after i got Mellon Collie and i make art because iīm musically frustrated, i always wanted to have a band and it never happened so i must let it all out in another artistic way. Sometimes people listened to a lot of music and find a couple of bands that are great, but sometimes some particular music just blows their minds to the point of blending their very souls with the songs.


This happened when i listened to SP. Something happened, something made a click and i got immediately hooked up on the music as if it was a drug, and i still do. Like when you taste something and you know you will try your best to get it over and over again for the pure pleasure, or when you see something and you will forever keep it in your mind.

I always wonder with my drawings if at some point one of them will cause a great effect or feeling on someone who knows where, and that idea is amazing, to now that i could touch somebody and connect with that person and be one every time he or she looks at it and have that feeling inside. I guess we all want to connect with people, to be listened, to be seen, to be hugged, kissed and be understood, and Billy wrote songs, plays them, sings them and i can hear him! i can listen to him clearly in my own way, and it causes me the most wide range of emotions, love, desperation, sadness and feel in love with beauty and love itself, the agonizing moments when you get lost or are left alone. I connected, i simply connected with their music, but the most amazing surprise came to me a few days ago when i listened for the first time to The future Embrace....


How terrible it is to practically fall in love with an idea, to a concept, to an image and with what you can find and see and listen, but not be able to grasp the source of all those wonderful sounds, melodies and feelings shaped into music. Iīm in total awe. i want to be those songs, i want to be sound, i just want to let my heart and soul get carried away with it and never come back.




so.... well, i guess you got the idea a few paragraphs back. Iīm extremely musically sensible, and i feel a desperation that thousands of people might be feeling when they connect too with BC music. I wish i could just sit and grab this man by the shoulders and just stare and stare and try to see beyond all the pictures, all the costumes, all the records, all the concerts, all the videos, posters, text.... to really see where all this wonderful sounds are coming from, to strip him from all the commercial armor and masks and fully contemplate his soul and understand the meaning of this human being and try to understand myself in the process.


Music is such a powerful energy, perhaps the most powerful, you can see what it does to people, how it can gather thousands in one place to connect with the bands and the people who brought all of them there. to connect and be one, to give and receive at the same time, to let things out and watch/feel the reactions, to know yourself through them......Magic.

And i will forever be... just another fan, silently observing how things unfold for this wonderful fountain of musical pleasure called Billy Corgan. I really wish him the best.




 
FAVORITE LYRIC
Sleep will not come to this tired body now
Peace will not come to this lonely heart
There are some things I'll live without
But I want you to know that I need you right now
I need you tonite
I steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves
Cause I'll always miss her wherever she goes
And I'll always need her more than she could ever need me
I need someone to ease my mind
But sometimes a someone is so hard to find
And I'll do anything to keep her here tonite
And I'll say anything to make her feel alright
And I'll be anything to keep her here tonite
Cause I want you to stay, with me
I need you tonite
She comes to me like an angel out of time
As I play the part of a saint on my knees
There are some things I'll live without
But I want you to know that I need you right now
Suffer my desire
Suffer my desire
Suffer my desire for you





Bleed in your own light
Dream of your own life
I miss me
I miss everything I'll never be
And on, and on

I torch my soul to show
The world that I am pure
Deep inside my heart
No more lies

A crown of horns
An image formed deformed
The mark I've borne
A mark of scorn to you

Consume my love, devour my hate
Only powers my escape
The moon is out the, stars invite
I think i'll leave tonight

So soon I'll find myself alone
To relax and fade away
Do you know what's coming down
Do you know I couldn't stay free?

I shall be free
I shall be free
I shall be free
I shall be free
I shall be free free
Free of those voices inside me
I shall be free
I shall be free



Wrap me up in always, and drag me in with maybes
Your innocence is treasure, your innocence is death
Your innocence is all I have
Breathing underwater, and living under glass
And if you spin your love around
The secrets of your dreams
You may find your love is gone
And is not quite what it seemed
To appear to disappear
Beneath all your darkest fears
I believe in never, I believe in all the way
But belief is not to notice, belief is just some faith
And faith can't help you to escape
And with this ring I wed thee true
And with this ring I wed thee now
And with this ring I play so dead
But no one's asking for the truth, so let me tell you
If you spin your love around
The secrets of your dreams
You may find your love is gone
And is not quite what it seemed
To appear to disappear
Beneath all your darkest fears
To the revelations of fresh faced youth
No one will come to save you
So speak your peace in the murmurs drawn
But youth is wasted on the young
Your strength is my weakness, your weakness my hate
My love for you just can't explain
Why we're forever frozen, forever beautiful,
Forever lost inside ourselves
The night has come to hold us young





We dismiss the back roads
To ride these streets unafraid
Resigned to scraping paint
From our bones unashamed
No more the eye upon you
No more the simple man
Desolation yes hesitation no
Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have guessed all is never shown
Desolation yes hesitation no
And in my prayers I dream alone
A silent speech to deaf ear
If you want love you must be love
But if you bleed love you will die loved
No more the lie upon you
Cast into stone and autumn shade
Desolation yes hesitation no
Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have sensed we won't make it home
Desolation yes hesitation no
Before the rites of spring - Come to mean all things
A little taste of what may come - A mere glimpse of what has gone
Cause for the moment we are free - We seek to bind our release
Too young to die too rich to care too [bad word removed]ed to swear that I was there
Desolation yes hesitation no
Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have guessed we won't make it home
Desolation yes hesitation no




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