I think The Smashing Pumpkins came about in a strange period in my life, that's strange moment between childhood and adolesence. I was a very sad person, but couldn't really put a finger one th exact reason. I couldn't name the emotions, and I didn't really care to try and figure it out. But I felt like the whole world felt that way too, strangely. So while I felt separate, I felt like I was apart of some greater understanding. I know that can't make sense.

And in this time, I discovered quite by accident, a copy of Gish. A friend had given me a box of cd's that had been misdirected by UPS. I will say that I didn't love it instantly, but I was drawn to it. Like something painful and beautiful all at the same time. And it, like my feelings, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. But, it was a constant and powerful companion. I fell madly in love with its dark musical landscapes and its haunting lyrics. I never wanted that feeling to go away.

And here I sit, some 16 years later, that copy of Gish is long worn, and unplayable, but don't worry, I have another. But I still keep that copy, because I feel, like an old photo of someone you once loved so hard, it just can't be tossed in the trash.

(p.s. My favorite album is Adore, and there's a million reasons why that can't be summed up here. Perhaps I'll blog about it)