I am a sp fan exactly for the same reason I breath... they kept me alive and they're still doing, after all these years...first time I saw them was 1998 on the tv news(strange way to get in touch!), there was billy singing ava adore with that touching, tearing, sad voice, everybody dressed in black... I couldn't take my eyes off the tv and I suddenly felt something... my heart was warmer and colder at the same time and something was stuck right in my troath...that same emotion is still with me after almost 10 years, that feeling of happyness and desperation, emptyness and warm, rage and calm, that sense that nothing is important but everything matters... this is what the pumpkins mean to me, and so much more that words can tell...